In Conversation With myself

As I sit in front of my PC, I don’t exactly know what I’m going to write. There are lot of things going on in mind---------- my grandfather’s scheduled heart operation tomorrow, the unpleasant events that unfolded in the college today, etc…..etc……I don’t know why I’m feeling a little low and what’s been bugging me since morning. On a deeper introspection I realise that it’s again how others perceive me or do to me has bogged me down since morning. Whether it’s becoming the butt of leg pulling at the college or the helpless feeling of not getting my true worth, both financially and critically, all that has resulted in the feeling of disappointment encompassing my life on 22nd September, 2008.

Sometimes I wish I were a little more handsome. Then life would have been a lot easier and simple. The above sentence may well appear not to be in sync with the start of this blog post or worse, the whole blog may appear to be so out of the tune for you. To make matter simpler, this blog is in response to the dejection of things not turning up as per my expectations during the course of the day. Why the world can’t be nice to u all the time? Why everyone can’t have talents,good looks,luck everything on his side?

While watching Amitabh Bachchan’s latest flick The Last Lear, I came across this dialogue from the mouth of the protagonist of the movie that the desire to perform makes an actor. Likewise, what makes a writer? It’s the desire to express, to let go all ur feelings. At this moment, I’m feeling a lot relaxed and at peace with myself. I vow not to pay heed to any sort of mindless and discouraging acts/comments of those lesser morons who have been born just to make the numbers. That’s the prime reason I started blogging---- to express myself, to release all the uneanted thoughts and be at ease with myself.

A blog may have so many definitions, but for me it’s on outlet to get in touch with my real self. It’s the time I talk to myself. It’s a way to de-stress and rejunevate. I foresee a life in the world of words. I don’t know whether I have the talent and temperament to survive and thrive in the galaxy of words or not. But I’ve the passion and love for writing and love expressing myself through the medium of words. Now it seems I’m dragging this blog a bit too long. I pray that everything goes well in the days to come. May God give me and my family the strength to fight all odds. May no one sleeps tonight with an empty stomach, may no one feels hard done by people in and around him. May God take care of all of us……………..Amen!!!!!!!!!!

जो दिखता है वही बिकता है

Good Looks Vs Talent

As i was talking to my would-be father-in-law over the phone
In the typical Rajasthani tone he asked ,”Aap koan?"(who r u?)

I replied, "I'm the 1 who will be a household name from Amritsar to London,
I am the one n only Chandan".

He seemed impressed with the answer of mine
But when I met him, he told me that the no. of children her daughter has is nine.

It was apparent that it was an excuse
Because of my average or rather below than average looks , once again i was refused.

I was consoled not to get disheartened as surely good looks work in one's favour
But to survive in the long run ,one needs great skills n hard labour.

Good looks may prompt a Kumar Gaurav(chaar din ki chandni) to happen to one
But 2 b a Hrithik Roshan(i.e lambi race ka ghoda), a strong will power,belief in ur abilites and lots of hard work needs 2 b done.

Thank U Mr. Chetan Bhagat!

Finally the wait was over. The prolonged delay in the publication of my part-2 graduation exams had all the students on tenterhooks. But August 22, 2008 brought all end to all the wait and restlessness that was going beyond the joke for the students. A sense of frustration and restlessness had enveloped the psyche of the students due to the delay in the publication of the results. But today all such things were done and dusted with. It was celebration time!

But a tinge of disappointed writ large on the faces of quite a few students. A regular scene on a result day, isn’t it! Count me first in the list of such students. I was not exactly disheartened but yes was a little disappointed. I was not losing sleep over the fact the others had scored more than me and I was lagging at the lower rung of the rank table. The disappointment was by and large due to the fact that my efforts did not yield me the desired result. The result did not do justice to the effort I had put in to prepare for the exams. And mind you, it’s just not the numbers I’m talking about. Whether I stand 1st, 2nd or 3rd, I care two hoots about this position game. But yes the output should complement the input given. Sadly, it did not happen in my case.

The disappointment level was all the more disturbing considering the fact that a few ‘blessed’ people( read ‘people with contacts and lobbying privileges’) who would be worse than a ‘Paanchvi Fail’ were sitting high on the ranks table. Talent once again lost out to lobbying and unethical habits of the people in power. But here I would like to congratulate my dear friend Abhishek who topped the charts. He deserves every bit of the success and praise that’s bestowed on him. You truly deserves all this mate!! Congrats!

Anyways, a disappointed Chandan was parented and helped to get over that disappointed by none other than Mr. Chetan Bhagat, the gr8 writer and author of 3 bestsellers--- Five Point Someone, One Night@the call center and The 3 Mistakes of My Life. I’m sure u must be finding it tough to buy this claim of mine that how can a busy and not easily accessible person like Chetan Bhagat come to my aid? Well, he did come! But in the form of an interview article. In the interview, Mr. Bhagat had spoken about things that happens or will happen with all of us. His words really changed my perception towards life. This is what helped me win over the ghosts of dejection and disappointments------
(Chetan Bhagat’s blog Excerpts:---------------

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.
Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.
I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?
Imagine the spark to be a lamp’s flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms.
To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn’t any external measure - a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.
Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement.
But it isn’t the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won’t be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday?
They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.
Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature’s design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.

I must add, don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school. Where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.
One last thing about nurturing the spark - don’t take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said - don’t be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.
I’ve told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.
Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you.
But it’s life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that’s where you want to be.
Disappointment’s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don’t know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to a release.
Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts , having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life - friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.
Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you.
In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty darn lucky by Indian standards. Let’s be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don’t. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don’t get literary praise. It’s ok. I don’t look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It’s ok. Don’t let unfairness kill your spark.
Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.
There you go. I’ve told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.
I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, you eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.
Thank You.

HAAPY BIRTHDAY GULZAAR SAHAB

"रात का नशा अभी आँख से गया नहीं ........." गुलजार साहब का लिखा अशोका फिल्म का ये गाना आज भी दो दिलों कि धरकन को रूमानियत के धागे में पिरोकर एक कर देता है. 18 अगस्त 1936 को दीना ( जो कि अब पाकिस्तान में है) में जन्मे इस फनकार के बारे में शायद कि किसी ने सोचा होगा कि इस गुलज़ार कि रचनाओं से आगे जाकर साहित्य, रंगमंच और फ़िल्मी बगिया गुलज़ार हो उठेगी. समय आया और गया . समय के साथ सब कुछ बदला पर गुलज़ार साहब के नगमों ने मानो समय कि लगाम अपने हाथों में ले ली और ढलते समय और बदलते सामाजिक मूल्यों के धपेड़े गुलज़ार के नगमों के बागीचे को छु भी ना सके. बल्कि वोह खुद गुलज़ार के दुनिया का अटूट अंग बन गए और उन नगमों के रंग में रंग गए . समय के साथ गुलज़ार के शब्दों ने अपनी वेश भूषा थोडी बदली जरूर पर उनका शब्दों कि कशिश और जादू वही रहा जिसने पीढी दर पीढी को अपना मुरीद बना लिया. जिस तन्मयता के साथ लोग गुलज़ार साहब के गीतों और अन्य रचनायों पर मुग्ध को जाते थे, उसी तरह आज भी लोग उनके गीतों पर अपने पाओं को थिरकने से नहीं रोक पाते. "मुसाफिर हूँ यारों...ना घर है ना ठीकाना...." हो या कजरारे कजरारे या फिर बीरी जलैले....." पीढी देर पीढे पर गुलज़ार का जादू सिर चढ़ कर बोला और लोग गुलज़ार साहब के शब्दों में खुद को ढूँढ़ते रहे और उनके शब्दों के समुन्दर में गोते लगाते रहे. वे झुक कर शब्दों और मानविय सवेद्यनाओं के इस महान जादूगर को सलाम करते हैं. "मुसाफिर हूँ यारो ..........ना घर है ना ठीकाना मुझे चलते जाना है......." इस जैसे हजारों नगमों के रचियता आज भी ज़िन्दगी को शब्दों में पिरो कर चले जा रहे हैं. इस मुसाफिर के यात्रा के सह यात्री बने इनके अनगिनत चाहने वाले और बरबस ही इस मुसाफिर ने लोगों के दिलों में अपना ठीकाना बना लिया जिसकी बुनियाद दिन पर दिन मजबूत होती जा रही है.गुलज़ार साहब पर मेरा ये ब्लॉग मानो सूरज को दिया दिखाने जैसा है . पर गुलजार जैसे कोहिनूर गाहे बगाहे ही इस दुनिया में आते हैं और पूरी दुनिया पर अपनी एक अमिट छाप छोड़ जाते हैं.बस यही दुआ है कि यह गुलज़ार और अधिक गुलज़ार हो और हमारी प्रेरणा और सहारा बना रहे. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GULZAAR SAHAB!

When Life got BIG ( 92.7 FM) : Will history repeat itself?

On the desktop of life, some experiences/memories are like permanent icons. One such indelible memory has been the events that took place on the 10th of August last year. Yes! 10th of August………….this day will remain one of the most cherised memory of mine. 10 August 2007 was the day when a new world opened up to me. A new promising life beckoned me. It was the day when I appeared for an interview in BIG 92.7 FM, one of the leading private FM channels in the country. It was so special for me that still I consider it to be one of the high points of my career to date. In a country full of ‘recommendations’ and ‘lobbying’ it was a sort of achievement for me as I had got that coveted interview call purely on the basis of my merit. Here I may come across as a pompous person but if I have done something substantial, I deserve to get a pat on my back and let the world sit and take notice of me. It’s not that I can’t live without telling the world of my achievements but what’s the problem in selling oneself aggressively. I wear my USP on my sleeve. That’s what I am. Anyways, though I could not bag a job in BIG 92.7 FM’s Ranchi branch, I was pretty happy with the fact that I reached there without any recommendation or lobbying. The poem on KISHORE KUMAR that u see below is the one that fetched me the personal round interview in the FM channel. Of course, here I would like to mention the name of Anurag Bhaiya who informed me of the openings in the channel. In fact I want to thank everybody who helped me through thick and thin and persist through the rough patches. THANK YOU FOLKS!!!!! It’s again 10th August today. Though no interview calls 2day this year, I’m sure that success is just round the corner. But the million dollar question is: Will history repeat itself? Is another interview call is in the pipeline? I’ll be waiting for it. May that wait gets over soon!!!!!!!! Amen!

Remembering Kishore...................

बंद करो हे हिप - हॉप , बंद करो ये वेस्टर्न म्यूजिक का
शोर
क्यूँ पागल बने फिरते हो मडोना ,ब्रिटनी और शकीरा के पीछे जब हमारे पास हैं the evergreen किशोर

4 August का दिन था जब ये फनकार इस दुनिया में आया
और अपनी मधुर गायकी और लाजवाब एक्टिंग से सबका दिल भाया

किशोर दा का दीवाना आज भी है हर बच्चा बूढा और जवान
किशोर कुमार जैसा फनकार है हमारी मान और शान

lets take a bow to the legendary artist of Indian cinema-- किशोर

जिसकी सिंगिंग और एक्टिंग को देख कर दिल यही कहता है --- ये दिल मांगे मोर

Good Job, keep it up!

The habit of Appreciating Others..............
“Accha likhte ho(you write well)………….keep it up”……………..This is the comment I got from Anurag Bhaiya on my blog for one of the posts I had written. I can’t tell how delighted I was after I read that. That remark may come across to you as a routine remark. You might be thinking what was so big in that it prompted me to write a piece on that one. Those 6 words mean a world to me. Not necessarily because of the person who has written this but what he has written about me. It’s a reward of my hard work, creativity and writing skills. It’s a testimony that I’m on the right path and my work is worthy of being appreciated. It has encouraged me to keep the blog-writing work going. It wasn’t that I would have stopped writing if someone had written any bad remarks or wouldn’t have written anything about my blogs. I would have continued unfazed even in that case because I’ve started writing that blog not to impress anybody but to express myself. The purpose behind starting that blog is to share my life, my world with you. It’s not only Anurag Bhaiya but one Rahul Bhaiya also who’s been always encouraging me to push the envelope and carry on with my passion for writing. Having said that, I apologize to those people whose name I’ve not taken here but have been instrumental in my life. I owe a lot to each and all of them. Be it my friends, family, relatives, critics, rediffiland friends ( the blog where I’ve been blogging since 2006)..everyone. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR FEEDBACK AND INTEREST IN MY WRITE-Ups.
How wonderful the term 'appreciation' is, isn’t it? Sometimes I wonder that how just a simple complement like “Well done” or “Good job” can do wonders to one’s self confidence. Today, while going through some of the back editions of the Times of India, I came across this interview excerpt of guess who???? CHETAN BHAGAT. It seems that I can’t have enough of CHETAN BHAGAT these days as the last few days saw too much of CHETAN BHAGAT featuring in my life. After going through “THE 3 MISTAKES OF MY LIFE” on the lines of a start-to-finish schedule for 4 days, I thought I have had enough of Mr. BHAGAT---the latest pin-up person in the Indian writing world. But today again Mr. Bhagat was there in my hands in an interview avatar. In an interview to the English daily, he had talked about his writing and message to the budding writers. He urged the budding writers or for that matter anybody who wants to make his/her a life a success story to keep the spark within oneself burning. “DO NOT LET THE SPARK FADE OFF”. Do not let rejections, disappointments get the better of you and your desires. One’s Chances of succeeding in one’s endeavour can be measured by one’s belief in oneself and one’s dreams.

POINT NOTED Mr. BHAGAT!!!!!!!!!!
I will surely try to inculcate those habits in my life and writing which is my life.