How I got over a bad break-up?
“Dil se jisko maan raha tha
apne dil ki raani wo
aur kisi
pe hi yaaroan marti thi marjaani wo
Ek
kahaani khatam to dujaa kissa shuru hua……..”
setting this chunk of the song as my ringtone
was the 1st ‘corrective’ measure I took to get my life back on track
post my break-up!
Another knee-jerk reaction to that event saw me
watching the forgettable Imran-Kareena starrer Ek Main Aur Ek Tu again and
again as it somewhat lessened my pain, at least to some extent, seeing someone
else, albeit in the fictitious world of movies, not getting the girl he loved!
But I had to look for long-term solutions
rather than the abovementioned short-term quick-fixes!
So, I got myself the DVDs of movies like Jab We
Met; Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam; Dil Maange More and Student of the Year. The prime
reason behind zeroing in on these was that in all these movies, either the
leading lady or the hero was involved with someone else at the beginning/1st
half of the movie but eventually finds his or her soulmate in another person by
the time end credits roll!
All these movie sent out this message that no
matter if you happen to be the person at the receiving end of rejection or at
the giving end, you have every reason in the world to keep your chin up and
remain upbeat!
Next step was snapping all ties with my ex,
more so on the social networking sites front. No I wasn’t worried about feeling
more and more miserable seeing her flirting with other guys on it and/or seeing
her getting on in her life as if nothing had happened. I was more scared of
seeing her silly and pointless status updates like “Good Night frendz”; “Wishing
all my pumpkin dumpling frendz a very warm good morning”(and in case she missed
performing such ‘rituals’ any day, she would make up for it by saying “belated
good night/good morning!”. Please someone go and tell her that there’s a new
day every 24 hours and with that a new brand opportunity to perform those
‘rituals’ also!”).
Her online ‘heroics’ would have constantly
reminded me of all the lies I had told her like “Sweetheart! You’re an example
of ‘Beauty with Brain’”; christening her as ‘Dream Girl’ etc. etc. and thereby
compounding the guilt feeling I’d have to live it as those were the only lies I
had ever told in my life besides telling my parents that I was studying well
with complete focus whenever they used to ask me if I was taking my studies
sincerely and seriously! Moreover, all my lies to her in the form of likes and
comments both in the online as well as offline world would not have augured
well for me for I harboured a desire to try my hands at film reviews! My
credibility would have taken a serious beating!
You doubting if I ever had a break-up or if I
felt bad following my break-up? Not taking me seriously?
Well, that precisely where lies the mantra---
NOT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY!
Break-ups of course, hurt! But it’s definitely
not bigger than life and more importantly, you as an individual! Had I too
taken in seriously and sulked for days and months, I wouldn’t have survived to
tell my tale! And it’s not that my love for her was superficial and
short-term/stop-gap arrangement for me for only I know how much I loved, in
fact, still love her. But my love for myself was; is and will always be greater
than for anybody else. It’s just that I chose to see the lighter side to it and
move on and discarded the path treaded by the fraternity of spurned lovers like
me---- that of ‘Devdas’!
You too don’t judge your worth on the acceptance
or rejection by the so-called ‘world’ of yours---whether current or ex!
It all boils down to how you want to see your
stint with your ex--- as a glass half-empty with focussing on the negative and
unhappy memories associated with it or as a glass half-filled with taking with
you all the special memories!
Trust me, for every ‘Kahaani’ that meets and
end, for good or bad, there’s always that ‘Kissa’ hidden somewhere right there
waiting to begin!
Embrace it!
