10 things I’d do if the world comes to an end in 2012: 'File a case against my parents!'

(DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction meant for the purpose of entertainment. All the points mentioned below are fictitious, except point number 5 & 9, and mean no harm or disgrace to anyone.It doesn't intend to demean or embarrass any individual or community.All names used in the write-up bear no resemblance to anyone.
HAPPY READING!)


1. I would file a case against my parents for giving me four less years to live as they were married in 1983 but I, despite being the elder of their two children, was brought into this world not before 1988. Why?


2. I would try to clear my "C++" paper and get my BCA degree from IGNOU which I've failed to do so even though I've been pursuing the course for the past four years. So, If I don't clear my compartment papers by 2011, I would die an 'Undergraduate'. and if there's life after death, my market value (read marriage dowry) would suffer very badly thanks to my "undergraduate" status.


3. I would like to leave this world as an MBBS (Miya Biwi Bachcha Samet), before the world ends in 2012.


4. Before the world comes to an end in 2012, I would like to make this confession to my friend Abhishek in the form of this poem:


A boy must be at least 21 to get married is what says the law
But at 17 only, I used to fall for every girl I saw.


The one who fell prey to this was Abhishek--my closest pal
As I developed a huge crush on his gal (girlfriend).


I subscribed to the theory that everything is fair in love and war
It was decided if I didn't get her, I would take it as "grapes are sour".


By grace of God I got the opportunity soon
All that was needed a masterstroke that would see me on top of the moon.


It was Abhi's gal's birthday in the month of January
so,on her b'day, I was with Abhishek buying an expernsive card and a Blackberry.


As he went for some time to the loo
I had decided what I had to do.


I opened the card and wrote an encircled "A" on top of her name
As only adult movies have the encircled "A" attached to them, I was sure it would embarrass her and put her to shame.


My plan paid off as soon after they parted ways
Finally I got her and couldn't help but grin at the sight of some happy days.


5. Earn back the articles/commodities we lost in the robbery that took place at my house in 2007. (ie earning the amount equal to monetary value of the lost belongings).


6. Time my bank loans such that the time to pay back the loans falls after Decemeber 21, 2012.


7. Profess my love to my childhood love and be alongside her during the last moments.


8. Write my dream script and make a movie with Aamir Khan playing the lead. No, wait a moment. Aamir takes too much time agreeing to do a film. I'll have some other actor playing the lead.


9. My family has been abandoning plans to celebrate the Chhath festival in our native village located on the outskirts of Bihar for the past few years due to the despicable public transport conditions between Patna (the place where we live now) to my native village and celebrating it in Patna itself. So, I would like to buy a big car and take my family to my native village to celebrate Chhath Puja giving them a complete hassle-free and luxurious travel experience.


10. Send a 'Thank You' card to everyone who helped me compiling this list of ''10 things I'd like to do before the world ends in 2012" and allowing me to pass it as my own work